TOEFL WR Introduction

We're starting the TOEFL Writing Class and the first independent tasks are in. 

Here's the question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Two people can become good friends even if one has more money than the other.

Here's a kind of introduction which several people used. The grammar is not edited.

In discussion of friendship, a controversial issue is whether people can be friends with a person who has much more money than they have. Some people say that it is impossible, but others contend that how much money a person have does not affect on relationship with other people. If asked, both groups could present logical reasons to support each opinion. Considering my experiences, I disagree with the statement that two people, one of which has more money than the other, can be good friends.

I don't think this is a good introduction. Here's why:

In discussion of friendship, a (1) controversial issue is whether people can be friends with a person who has much more money than they have. (2) Some people say that (3) it is impossible, but others contend that (4) how much money a person have does not affect on relationship with other people. If asked, (5) both groups could present logical reasons to support each opinion. Considering my experiences, I disagree with the statement that two people, one of which has more money than the other, can be good friends.

1. Is this controversial? I don't think it's controversial. I have friends who have more money than I and friends who have less money than I have.
2. Who says this? Who are "people?" The question is about YOUR opinion, not other people's opinions.
3. It is certainly not impossible. This is factually wrong.
4. “It doesn't affect” is not the question. The Q is about making (becoming) friends.
5. How does the writer know that those "other people" would give logical reasons?

I think that there is a lot of irrelevant detail in this paragraph. I recommend that you just state your opinion directly in the introduction, like this:

I don't think it's difficult for two people with different levels of wealth to be friends.

That's all you need. A simple introduction saves time for you (1) to add more details or examples in the body paragraphs or (2) to check your essay for grammatical and word choice errors.

Please use English well!